it's much better when you release everything you feel inside to someone you can really trust. identity is a big issue in one's life. but , acceptance is another thing. i realised you can never ever deny who you truely are. pretence is a game i can never play , and you just need it all out. you need to quit the game and leave all the shit you can give to people you surround with. if they are truely your friends , then they'll accept you for who you are. i cry knowing you both won't , and i give up. i tell others that i'll face the fact and tell you both , but i am a coward and i won't be able to tell you guys anything . this is one issue that i can only talk to a friend. a friend who's been there from the start . thank you.

i know i lead you on , but i need to do this for myself for once.

whoever you're dating , we're so much hotter . right mum ?